Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself – your strengths and your limitations – in contrast to depending on affirmation from others.
Judith M. Bardwick
MEANING OF THIS QUOTE
In an age as competitive as ours, it is easy to fall into the habit of being overly harsh on ourselves. This relentless self-criticism breeds negativity. Amid all the negative thoughts and white noise, our unfulfilled pride often leads us to seek affirmation from others. However, real confidence doesn’t come from seeking validation from others but rather from accepting oneself.
DOESN’T THIS ATTITUDE BREED COMPLACENCY?
Absolutely not. Learning to accept your qualities and flaws is not the same as becoming set in your ways. If anything, self-acceptance is a stepping stone to self-improvement. A person who is constantly striving to please others is bound to be disappointed every now and then. This, in turn, can prove detrimental to their self-belief and growth, for all their efforts are aimed at seeking validation from others and not becoming a better version of themselves. On the other hand, people who come to terms with their shortcomings and let go of perfectionism can come up with more practical solutions to their problems. Knowing your strengths and identifying your weaknesses is, in essence, crucial for cultivating a positive mindset.
CONCLUSION
People whose confidence depends on a constant need for validation from others often struggle to unlock their full potential. Meanwhile, those who draw confidence from their own strengths and even limitations are more likely to achieve their goals. Their self-acceptance means that they don’t depend on the need for external affirmation. This naturally opens a door to peace and positivity, which are both ever so critical for fostering confidence in one’s abilities.
Judith M. Bardwick is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California. Known for her works on psychology and self-help, Dr. Bardwick strongly advocates knowing your strengths and being confident in the pursuit of your goals. The following quote underlines this thought more than any other: “Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself – your strengths and your limitations – in contrast to depending on affirmation from others.”