The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
African Proverb
MEANING OF THIS QUOTE
As an instrument, the axe is designed to do damage. It can chop down hundreds, if not thousands of trees, during its life. It isn’t, therefore, possible for the axe to remember each and every tree it hacked off. On the other hand, the trees that actually were on the receiving end of the axe’s wrath do remember the one axe that inflicted that hurt on them. The axe forgets the pain it caused, but the tree doesn’t.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR US HUMANS?
Humans, as a species, have a real knack for hurting others, be it with our words, actions, or physically. The most seasoned ones of the lot go about their business so frequently that it becomes impossible for them to keep count of who they have hurt along the way. The people we hurt, however, have to live with that anguish. In the worst case, this might even leave the victim traumatized for the rest of their life. For instance, kids who undergo physical or sexual abuse at home or students who are bullied at school often grow up into traumatized adults. Meanwhile, the people who wronged them hardly ever realize the damage they did.
HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE HURT SOMEONE?
It all starts with introspection. Learn to empathize and put yourself in others’ shoes. Every night, before you go to bed, spend five minutes musing about your actions during the day. Imagine being told the things you said to someone and think if that would hurt you.
WHAT IF I HAVE?
Well, it all depends on how easy or difficult it is for you to apologize to someone. Self-righteous folks generally have a hard time saying sorry. On the other hand, people who are more considerate toward others’ emotions are quick to make amends for their hurtful actions.
CONCLUSION
We often end up hurting others without even realizing it, but it might keep playing on their minds for a good while. The right thing to do is to apologize whenever the opportunity presents itself. It doesn’t make us lesser of a person; in fact, it restores or even elevates the respect the other person had for us. Like a well-known African proverb goes: “The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.”